Life Transitions Counseling

Are you facing big changes in your life?

Are you anxious about how to navigate through this new chapter? Unsure what tools or help you need? Having an experienced guide can make all the difference.

We, as men, are not raised to ask for help. This is one of those times to stretch yourself and reach out for some assistance. Counseling is a good place to get an outsider’s perspective on your situation. The right counselor can help you gain the skills needed to successfully manage the changes you are encountering.

Transition into Married Life

Are you engaged or talking about the next step in your relationship? Being a boyfriend is one thing but being a good husband is another level. We men are not raised to pay attention to relationships and can struggle to understand our partner’s needs. Counseling can help to raise your emotional intelligence, work on the skills of attunement and manage your emotions. We can address how to stay calm when conflicts arise and other tools to make you a better partner as you move toward marriage.

Transition into Fatherhood

Are you looking at starting a family? Often the idea of having kids brings up anxiety in many men. We often lack experience in nurturing children so it can be daunting to think of holding an infant or raising kids. We can work on these concerns and help you access the skills needed to be a good dad from your child’s infancy through their teen years and beyond.

Transition into Retirement

Are you preparing for or already retired? It is something most of us look forward to but can have mixed feelings about. For some men there is a sense of loss as co-workers and the routines of the work week go away. As you retire you might be wondering, “So who am I now?”  Most men derive their identity from their jobs and may not have cultivated outside interests or friendships. Together we can work on what is next by learning to let go of the old version of who you see yourself to be and then finding a new identity that fits who you want to be in this new chapter. Maybe you want to become an artist or learn to fly a plane! Getting help can make this transition easier.

Transition out of Marriage: Dealing with Divorce

Finding yourself facing the end of your marriage? This is one of the hardest things to go through, especially if ending things was not your idea. Having a place to talk about your feelings and work on being healthy in your interactions with your ex are important. Counseling provides a venue to get all the emotions out and clarify your thinking to make the important decisions needed to end well.  Men tend to give in too easily to their partners financial requests and do not advocate for themselves and have concerns about not having enough time with their kids after the divorce.  A lot of men feel guilty about their behaviors or have a strong need to please others that can get in the way of protecting their own interests. We will look at these topics and find healthier ways to advocate for your needs as the marriage ends. Finding an ally to help you think clearly and work with your feelings can make a huge difference. You will get through this difficult time and make a good life going forward. In addition, we will focus on the lessons learned from your divorce before beginning to date post marriage. Men tend to rush into the next relationship, often at their own peril.

Transition into a New Job and/or a New City

Has a new job brought you to the Seattle area? Then this is an exciting time that comes with a set of challenges. There is the loss of old colleagues and friends. Sure, you can stay in touch by text and so on, but it is not the same as being with them in person.  And finding your way around a new city and making new friends while becoming part of a work team is a lot.  We can explore how to connect with your workmates and the skills to make new friends to ease the transition to a new place.

Transition with the Loss of a Loved One

Are you facing the death or debilitating illness of someone you love?   

Facing our own mortality is hard enough but having to deal with the loss of a partner, close friend or family member is the hardest thing we do in life. We will leave space for processing all the feelings that come up and I will be an advocate for you to take care of yourself as you go through this difficult time.

Why choose me as your counselor?

I have focused on helping men since starting my counseling practice in 1991. I have also facilitated men’s groups for all that time. On the personal side, I have raised my two adult children over the course of my 35-year marriage. I bring all my hard-fought wisdom and life lessons, both personal and professional, to our work together.

Contact me at: jskandalis@yahoo.com to set up a no fee 25-minute session online. We’ll find a good time to chat and see if we are a good fit to work together.

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