One of the most common complaints that women have of men is their lack of follow through and shirking of responsibility. Yes, they go to work, bring home a paycheck, or more rarely take on roles of caregiver to young children but in other arenas they can miss the mark.
Read MoreWe socialize women to be caretakers of others. They are trained in these roles by their families, have it modeled by their mothers and the other women in their lives.
Read MoreMen have been trained since childhood to not cry or show emotions. It is part of our toxic masculine culture that tells boys and men to “be a man.” When they are young boys cry when upset, scared, lost, etc. They then get the message that that is not OK, even from their family. Fathers who were themselves trained out of their feelings also join in telling their sons to, “suck it up!”
Read MorePsychodrama is a powerful therapeutic method with multiple applications. Psychodrama can be used therapeutically to help clients in three different settings.
Read MoreSetting heathy limits is an essential way to protect and define yourself and let others know what your personal boundaries are. If we all grew up in healthy families we would have had models for how to set healthy boundaries with our spouse, children and others. So, what do healthy boundaries look like in personal relationships?
Read MoreWe men are not raised to pay attention to our relationships. This may be slowly changing but in general boys are raised to be achievers and are in training to be bread winners.
Read MoreMen are raised to be self-sufficient and always reply with “fine” when asked how they are feeling. They will not risk being seen as weak or needy by asking for help. This behavior is enshrined in the old joke about men never stopping and asking for directions when the family gets lost on their outing.
Read MoreCouples Counseling is the best way for couples to work on the conflicts that cause distance and hurt.If both people enter couples counseling with a willingness and commitment to make things better things will be better.
Read More“The Man’s Guide to Women” by John and Julie Gottman is a great step forward in helping men understand the women in their lives. The book’s serious topic is addressed with some lightheartedness including cartoons to not overwhelm the layman. Each chapter ends with a summary of the key messages and to show which behaviors makes a man “a hero” versus “a zero.”
Read MoreI have been doing wilderness hikes with my son for quite a few years now. I cherish the opportunity to spend those summer days exploring trails and vistas deep in Washington state’s national parks and wilderness areas.
Read MoreThe day finally arrives when you become “empty nesters.” Your kid or kids have “flown the coop” and are off on their next chapter. They may be off to college, travel or other adventures. The thing you know for sure is that they are gone; at least for now.
Read MoreI have worked with couples where expressing affection has been difficult for one or both parties. They are both committed to one another and to the relationship but they lack the ability to express their love and connection.
Read MoreAs adolescents make the challenging journey from childhood towards adulthood one of their tasks is to find their identity. Being age fourteen is recycling age two so there is a lot of saying “no” and being oppositional that goes with the teen years. For that two-year-old and the adolescent the “no’s” are about defining themselves and asserting their power. They are in a process of separating themselves from what their parents want from them.
Read MoreWe live in a time and place where there are many more doors open for women. In the work world, there are many fields that are available that were not open in the past. One hundred years ago the only jobs that women could have were all nurturer roles: mother, teacher or nurse.
Read MoreIt is virtually impossible to leave childhood without incurring some kinds of trauma. There are some traumas that don’t easily fit into what most people think of as traumas, such as developmental trauma.
Read MoreCouples often co-habitat, share finances, or even share children before marriage. For those that are interested in getting married pre-marital counseling is a good place to explore what is working and perhaps not working before taking a next step in their commitment.
Read MoreIn some way, Men carry shame simply for being male. Images abound for men to make them feel inadequate: Examples are everywhere for men to compare themselves to guys with ripped bodies, driving expensive cars and if they ever come home it is to big houses and loving wives and well-mannered kids. These men are always successful, happy and strong.
Read MorePsychodrama is a form of group therapy created by J.L. Moreno. He was one of the founders of group psychotherapy and held the belief that therapy done in a group was the optimal way to help people heal. He believed that our families were our first groups where we were injured in childhood and felt another group would be the best vehicle for healing
Read MoreHere are six tips on How to Be a Man that I think will be helpful in how to think about your masculinity.
Read MoreAt some point in the therapy process clients will ask me,” what is psychotherapy and how does it work?”They have been coming faithfully and are delving into the issues they want to address: grief, loss, marital issues, etc. They want to see the bigger picture.
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